Resolutions vs Intentions

New Years resolutions are very common, but they are not an effective way of creating positive change.  Why don’t resolutions work?

Resolutions are often based on a pass/fail, all or nothing model.  You resolve to make a change in the New Year, and if you aren’t successful (most people aren’t), then you’ve failed.  Rather than creating positive change, we’ve now made it a negative experience and we end up frustrated and disappointed with ourselves.

Resolutions focus on what we deem to be our imperfections, on what we need to “fix” about ourselves.  If we are trying to make a positive change but are already perceiving ourselves in a negative way, we are doomed to failure and doomed to dwelling in negativity when we don’t succeed.

Resolutions often focus on external changes, such as I’ll lose weight, I’ll quit smoking, I’ll eat healthier, but if we’re not focusing on changing internally, they likely won’t stick. Resolutions also tend to be strict and don’t leave room for the inevitable stumbles along the way.  We are not perfect, life can get in the way and very few people will be able to stick to a strict regimen for an extended period of time.  Again, this leads to feelings of failure and negativity.

So what can we do instead?  We can try setting intentions.  Intentions are more of an internal mindset that focus on shifting our behaviours to align with how we want to live our lives.

When we set a resolution, we are seeing ourselves as not being good enough.  When we set an intention, we are seeing ourselves as complete but with room to grow.  With resolutions, happiness can be tied to the outcome (e.g. I’ll be happy if I lose weight, I’ll be happy if I have more money).  With intentions, the focus is on finding happiness and contentment in the present moment and working to become even better versions of ourselves.  

Intentions help to improve self-awareness so we can start to notice how different foods, activities or habits make us feel.  When we become more aware of what benefits us and what doesn’t, we can make informed choices about how we live our lives.  Even so, we are works in progress and won’t necessarily make the best choices all the time.  This is where an intention to treat ourselves with compassion could come into play.

Intentions are gentle and kind and can lead to a more clear understanding of ourselves and a sense of being enough as we are.  Intentions work from the inside out, changing our mindset and caring for ourselves on a deeper level. When we have a better understanding of how we want to live our lives and we feel content, we tend to make healthier choices because it feels right, not because we resolved to do so or because it’s something we “should” do.

For example, a resolution could be “I will declutter my house.”, which is a vast task that may seem overwhelming and doesn’t really get to the root cause – attachment.  An intention could be “I will practice letting go and learn to ease my attachments – both to “things” and to outcomes of situations.”  Through letting go of attachments, we naturally begin to declutter and live a more simple life.

Another example could be what is likley a common resolution, “I will give up sugar”.  A more effective intention could be “I will pay more attention to how I feel when I eat a lot of sugar and will explore other options that make me feel better.”  This works to change our habits from the inside as we become more aware of how different foods affect us and begin to make better choices.

Noticing our sleep habits – and how we prepare for sleep – can be another intention.  A resolution may be “I will get up earlier”, but if we’re not changing our habits the night before or paying attention to what helps us sleep well and what doesn’t, we’re not likely to be successful.  If we pay attention to how we feel when we stay up too late, watch TV or use devices before bed, eat or drink alcohol or caffeine too close to bedtime, sleep too long or don’t get enough sleep and compare that to how we feel if we set a bedtime routine, go to bed early, sleep well and get up early, we may begin to shift our habits.  

Other examples of intentions could be :

• I’ll eat more mindfully and will notice how different foods make me feel
• I’ll learn to nourish my body with food that brings me energy
• I’ll pay more attention to my body and move in a way that feels right for me (whether in Yoga class or any other activity)
• I’ll take a moment to simply notice my breath when I feel stressed, anxious or impatient
• I’ll spend more time connecting with nature
• I’ll learn to appreciate and respect the right to life of all beings, big and small (this ties into the first Yama, Ahimsa that I wrote about in September)
• I’ll be more mindful in my daily activities, whether they be chores, driving, walking, grocery shopping, recreation, spending time with others, working or hobbies
• I’ll allow my body and mind more time to rest (savasana and Restorative Yoga are great ways to rest body and mind!)
• I’ll treat myself and others with kindness and compassion
• When a mistake is made – either by me or someone else – I’ll be more understanding
• I’ll spend less time “doing” and more time “being” (meditating, sitting quietly)

Whether you are a resolution-setter or not, try working with some gentle intentions and see how you feel.  Intentions can be set anytime, you don’t need to wait for January 1st.  You can even set an intention at the start of your Yoga practice, such as “I will let go of my ego and will let my body and breath guide me”, “I will focus more on my breath and notice how it animates my asana practice” or I will pay more attention to my feet in standing poses”.

There is no right or wrong way to set an intention, they can be short term, long term, general or specific.  Intentions are individual to you, and the possibilites are endless.  It’s all about gradually shifting your mindset, the rest will follow.